Comments on: Advice from the wife of a photographer http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html a multi-disciplinary dialog Thu, 08 Jan 2009 13:25:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Doug Plummer http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8171 Doug Plummer Fri, 09 Mar 2007 05:31:51 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8171 Robin again: Doug never gets hungry when the light is magic. Jer is lucky. Robin again:
Doug never gets hungry when the light is magic. Jer is lucky.

]]> By: June http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8055 June Thu, 08 Mar 2007 05:27:40 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8055 Doug/Robin, Because I don't drive, when I was artist in residence in the wilds of Oregon last fall, Jer had to accompany me as my driver. It turned out that he garnered multiple roles in the process. He soon became my educator -- as I painted, he read about the geology books and told me about his readings. The information he fed me became a vital part of my own musings and visionings of the landscape. When the wind came up, he rescued my papers and paints while I grabbed the painting. He became great at packing lunches for us because (I think) he realized that he could make the food decisions without interference while I packed the car. The Park Service pressed him into its volunteer work, signed him on officially, and gave him a shirt. This meant tourists could ask him freely about serious matters, like "where's the rest rooms?" Before we started the month I fretted that the residency was a bad idea. As it happened it was perhaps one of the highlights of our long established relationship. It helps that I always got hungry first and that our apartment behind the post office had a dial-up capacity for the computer. Doug/Robin,

Because I don’t drive, when I was artist in residence in the wilds of Oregon last fall, Jer had to accompany me as my driver. It turned out that he garnered multiple roles in the process. He soon became my educator — as I painted, he read about the geology books and told me about his readings. The information he fed me became a vital part of my own musings and visionings of the landscape. When the wind came up, he rescued my papers and paints while I grabbed the painting. He became great at packing lunches for us because (I think) he realized that he could make the food decisions without interference while I packed the car. The Park Service pressed him into its volunteer work, signed him on officially, and gave him a shirt. This meant tourists could ask him freely about serious matters, like “where’s the rest rooms?”

Before we started the month I fretted that the residency was a bad idea. As it happened it was perhaps one of the highlights of our long established relationship. It helps that I always got hungry first and that our apartment behind the post office had a dial-up capacity for the computer.

]]> By: Doug Plummer http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8054 Doug Plummer Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:45:25 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8054 Birgit, You're correct about the "abandonment" issue. Though I don't feel it much, anymore. Since I've trained Doug to call me once or twice each day, I rarely feel abandoned. We fight less and it's most often little spats at the normal irritating things he does, that I'd gotten used to doing without. He is good at sharing bliss. Robin Birgit,
You’re correct about the “abandonment” issue. Though I don’t feel it much, anymore. Since I’ve trained Doug to call me once or twice each day, I rarely feel abandoned. We fight less and it’s most often little spats at the normal irritating things he does, that I’d gotten used to doing without.
He is good at sharing bliss.
Robin

]]> By: Birgit Zipser http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8007 Birgit Zipser Wed, 07 Mar 2007 13:02:16 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8007 Robin, Doug does sound like someone who is good at sharing "bliss" well. Robin,

Doug does sound like someone who is good at sharing “bliss” well.

]]> By: Birgit Zipser http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8006 Birgit Zipser Wed, 07 Mar 2007 12:58:18 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-8006 What an interesting thing to say: ...fights at reentry... It is not just invading the space, it is also the abandonment issue. I saw the abandonment feeling most clearly when I left Karl (when he was about 2 yr old) with his grandparents while I went to visit my mother in Germany. When I came back, he first turned away from me. Reentry is a big issue in my life now because Troels and I spend most of the spring and fall apart from each other. What an interesting thing to say: …fights at reentry…

It is not just invading the space, it is also the abandonment issue. I saw the abandonment feeling most clearly when I left Karl (when he was about 2 yr old) with his grandparents while I went to visit my mother in Germany. When I came back, he first turned away from me.

Reentry is a big issue in my life now because Troels and I spend most of the spring and fall apart from each other.

]]> By: Doug Plummer http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-7973 Doug Plummer Wed, 07 Mar 2007 01:38:48 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-7973 Dear Karl, It takes differentiation and negotiation. The first several trips were awful. Doug felt the need to entertain me, wouldn’t do what he wanted to do, and would sulk. We’d have the bad fight, every time, that would end up in a good, differentiated place: “We don’t have to be joined at the hip, unless we so choose, for a while.” Now we know that, and it’s easy to go our separate ways, because we both can know and say what those ways are. “Meet you at the hotel/tent at 5?” “Great!” I’m not an artist. I do psychotherapy. I am as passionate about my therapizing/ consulting /writing as Doug is about his work. We both absolutely support each others’ work and our own. And we both, after all these years, know that. It makes it easier. Most often, our needs are not mutually exclusive, if we don’t have be in the same place, doing the same thing. When we’re done doing what we do, we get to tell the other person about it. That’s the fun-together part. Robin Dear Karl,
It takes differentiation and negotiation. The first several trips were awful. Doug felt the need to entertain me, wouldn’t do what he wanted to do, and would sulk. We’d have the bad fight, every time, that would end up in a good, differentiated place: “We don’t have to be joined at the hip, unless we so choose, for a while.” Now we know that, and it’s easy to go our separate ways, because we both can know and say what those ways are. “Meet you at the hotel/tent at 5?” “Great!”
I’m not an artist. I do psychotherapy. I am as passionate about my therapizing/ consulting /writing as Doug is about his work. We both absolutely support each others’ work and our own. And we both, after all these years, know that. It makes it easier. Most often, our needs are not mutually exclusive, if we don’t have be in the same place, doing the same thing. When we’re done doing what we do, we get to tell the other person about it. That’s the fun-together part.
Robin

]]> By: Karl Zipser http://artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-7930 Karl Zipser Tue, 06 Mar 2007 19:57:55 +0000 http://www.artandperception.com/2007/03/advice-from-the-wife-of-a-photographer.html#comment-7930 Robin, Great advice, great story. But what to do when both partners are photographers or artists with the same quirky needs, but directed at different subjects? Robin,

Great advice, great story.

But what to do when both partners are photographers or artists with the same quirky needs, but directed at different subjects?

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