I like it better. Someone above suggested that you keep at it. I agree. Some of the sentences are so long and full. Keep it direct; it will match well with your work.

“To convey the actuality both of place and of personal experience, I harness not only the realism of black and white photography, but also its expressive power, its ability to influence perception and emotion via lighting and tonality.” Whoa! TMI–too much information, at least all in one sentence. I don’t know too much about the history of photography, so for someone like me, my attention just dropped. In that sentence, I’ve got to envision: ‘personal experience’, ‘b&w photography’, ‘perception’, ‘emotion’, and then technical things. Crazy! Just break it up and you’re set.

I think I agree with David - especially about the word actuality in particular. There’s something underneath that belief you need to let us in on. Because I am not willing to accept the implied premise yet either…

I also suggest breaking up that sentence. Its long and complex - too much to cover. Plus a change in the rythm would be nice and the next sentence is long too. I wouldn’t want you to change that one (except maybe take out “in question” but that’s a picky thing not important).

One suggestion I might make is to delete or change the sentence that begins “To convey the actuality…” I’m not convinced that b&w photos are inherently more realistic or expressive than color ones. Is there something else you could say instead about your choice of b&w over color? Does it emphasize some aspect of the scenes that you feel wouldn’t come across as well in color?

I’m with Leslie. Your revisions keep making the statement better. It’s a lot to ask, but could you keep revising? I want to see what your next iteration will bring.

Speaking of the image that accompanies your post: it’s a stunner. From my own experience I must say that successfully organizing a landscape image that runs flat out to distant features and without the usual framing elements like branches and the such is damned hard. The sliver of water in the image, which cuts into the surrounding darkness, reads to me as a primary source of light. It supports the profiles and silhouettes above it while providing a key contrast. The sense of mystery that you mention in your statement comes across.

However, I’m with Leslie when she said,
“For me they can be like extracting teeth, but are also a helpful exercise in articulating what I am trying to do. It is like standing back and talking about a show, reflecting on the work. After particularly intense production periods that don’t allow for much reflection, that can be a very helpful thing to get me to the next step. Use it for your own good is what I say.”